Day 27: Magic Words: “Instead he called it a metaphor and said it is beautiful.”
The Actual Dance is a simple story of a man who is confronted with the possibility -- perhaps the probability -- of holding his wife of 34 years as she takes her last breath as she succumbs to breast cancer. He is desperate to know “how do I do this?” As portrayed in the show and in my real life I could NOT imagine that I could do it.
An initial effort to figure that out, a session with a Rabbi, didn’t provide an answer.
Next, I went to see the psychiatrist whom I had seen off and on for 20 years, usually through various life transition (turning 50 etc.). And as I spoke I once again cried. Indeed, it was the only time I sobbed. Sobbed as I described to him this real “place” – the ballroom – and the music and the dance and the image in my head of Susan and I dancing to a crescendo of intensity as she dissolved into a wisp of a white cloud and disappeared --- forever.
I asked for medicine, and “instead he called it a metaphor and said it is beautiful.”
In an instant I changed. “It never occurred to me that the dance was beautiful. I have always feared it as tragic and devastating.” His words were magic. “Beauty, dignity.” In an instant I want from fear to a place of acceptance and understanding. “Rather than fearing the actual dance, I think I can get ready for the dance.”
“I now understand that The Actual Dance will be the ultimate consummation of our Love.”
Stat of the Day: The death rate for Non-Hispanic Black Women was 42% higher between 2011 and 2015 than for Non-Hispanic White Women according to this study.
Task of the Day: Post something on your Facebook page or Tweet something about October being Breast Cancer Awareness Month and encouraging every woman to check her breasts.
Resource of the Day: The Society of Breast Imaging has this online Resource Center that enables you to set up reminders about breast care, such as scheduling a mammogram and to send a nudge to a friend as well!
The Actual Dance: Performances. Donate.